It's been awhile now since I finished "Bittersweet," but Shauna Niequist. But, this one paragraph still resonates with me.
It's brutal, making the list of Things I Don't Do, especially for someone like me, who refuses most of the time to acknowledge that there is, in fact, a limit to her personal ability to get things done. But I've discovered that the list sets me free. I have it written in black and white, sitting on my desk, and when I'm tempted to go rogue and bake muffins because all the other moms do, I come back to both lists, and I remind myself about the important things: that time is finite, as is energy. And that one day I'll stand before God and account for what I did with my life. There is work that is only mine to do: a child that is ours to raise, stories that are mine to tell, friends that are mine to walk with. The grandest seduction of all is the myth that DOING EVERYTHING BETTER gets us where we want to be. It gets us somewhere, certainly, but not anywhere worth being.
It's brutal, making the list of Things I Don't Do, especially for someone like me, who refuses most of the time to acknowledge that there is, in fact, a limit to her personal ability to get things done. But I've discovered that the list sets me free. I have it written in black and white, sitting on my desk, and when I'm tempted to go rogue and bake muffins because all the other moms do, I come back to both lists, and I remind myself about the important things: that time is finite, as is energy. And that one day I'll stand before God and account for what I did with my life. There is work that is only mine to do: a child that is ours to raise, stories that are mine to tell, friends that are mine to walk with. The grandest seduction of all is the myth that DOING EVERYTHING BETTER gets us where we want to be. It gets us somewhere, certainly, but not anywhere worth being.
I remember reading those words in bed one night and turning to Erik to ask him what was his own list of "Things I Don't Do." I don't remember his answer. But, thinking about the concept prompted me to write my own list, not only of things I don't do, but also of the things I DO.
1. I go to church regularly. I don't go to Bible Studies.
2. I read my Bible and pray nearly every day. I don't listen to on-line sermons.
3. I invest time and energy in a small group of loved ones and friends. And that's it.
4. I cook as much as I can at home and avoid eating out. I don't bake.
5. I work daily on becoming the best educator I can possibly be. But, I don't smile a lot and that's okay.
6. I exercise creativity through writing, cooking, the occasional art project, and work tasks. I don't scrapbook, sew, quilt, or do any other craft projects.
7. I go walking almost everyday. I don't run. Running is bad for MY body.
This list is not set in stone. In the future, I might suddenly start baking three layer cakes on a regular basis. But, when that does happen, it will be because I want to, not because I feel pressure from an outside source, or I think that my lack of baking somehow makes me a bad person, wife, or homemaker.
So now, I'm curious. Please share your own personal list of Things I Don't Do. And feel the guilt roll off your back.
xo,
~A
I eat lots of fruits and vegetables. I don't grow my own or buy organic produce.
ReplyDeleteI email pictures of my kids to friends and family every month. I don't send out Christmas cards.
I keep a "first year calendar" for each of my babies. I don't scrapbook.
I blog regularly and use Twitter and Pinterest. I've never joined Facebook or Instagram.
I write long letters to my close friends. I don't journal.
I exercise daily at home. I don't have a gym membership.
I quilt a project or two each year. I don't sew clothes.
That was fun! Thanks for the prompt, Millie.
Thanks for commenting! I loved reading your list. :)
DeleteI love this list ( and yours Margaret....) Maybe I should blog about mine!
ReplyDeleteYou should!
DeleteYes!
Delete